Customer Crossroads

Henrik Fexeus tells me about mind reading

I had a delightful conversation with Henrik Fexeus, author of the acclaimed book,The Art of Reading Minds, which is now available in English.

I confess to some trepidation prior to the interview -- this guy sounded like the real world equivalent of Patrick Jane. But I had the Atlantic Ocean as a buffer zone, so it seemed safe enough. And we had a great conversation for about 50 minutes, which has been edited down in the video below.

I was interested in the book in the first place because it has a lot of information on building rapport and on understanding the body language of others. These are skills that are useful to anyone, but critical in the work of the qualitative researcher or facilitator -- if I can't build rapport, and pretty quickly, the research will be seriously compromised.

A few of the things Henrik told me about, and where to find them on the video:

 :50    Why he became interested in this area, and I think the answer will surprise you, but make sense, as it did for me.

2:18   How our beliefs about the separation of mind and body (the concept of duality that originated with Descartes) have held us back from a better understanding of how we really communicate.

4:45   Henrik says he is not naturally gifted in this area, and had to learn this ability as well.

6:50   The secret not in the book.

8:20   The topic that readers give him the most positive feedback on. (Which gave me hope for humanity, actually).

10:10  Leakage. The emotional kind.

13:50  Anchoring. The emotional kind.

16:50  Now that you know what anchoring is, a good way to use it in day to day life.

17:45  Why he wrote the book.

19:00  People that are naturally good at this, and the professionals that they migrate to. (Can you guess?)

 

I've been way too busy for months, but have a bit more free time these days, and lots to talk about. Upcoming soon: a report on the fantastic speakers at Innovation Day at CPSI 2012, and what happened at Dell's Customer ThinkTank.

Idea City wrap-up: mammals with empathy, sensitive to injustice

Dr. Frans B. de Waal is an expert in the social intelligence of monkeys and apes. His was one of the best talks at Idea City this year, I wish I could have heard much more. Here are a few highlights:

• All mammals tested show empathy. Pet dogs, for example, have similar levels of empathy to a 1 year old child. Apes console each other. 
• Emotion is contagious -- in the same way yawns are catching
• Some birds may also have empathy
• Elephants have a sense of self-identity -- when they are presented with a mirror (an elephant sized one), they do all the things that other clever creatures do. They try to look behind the mirror. They do funny things with their trunks to see if the mirror is "mirroring" them. And once satisfied that they are indeed looking at themselves, they check out the parts of their bodies that they can't see without a mirror.
• Monkeys have a sense of justice, and an aversion to inequity

This last one is pretty interesting. Dr. de Waal devised a test where monkeys perform a task and get a treat, either a piece of cucumber or a grape. A grape is a better treat than a chunk of cucumber, if you are a monkey.

When two monkeys can see each other performing the same task, they expect to get the same treat for their work. When one gets a better treat than the other for the same job, the one getting the cucumber gets upset. That monkey will reject the bit of cucumber, even throw it away, then will withdraw, show signs of anger, and act hurt and depressed.

No wonder workplace compensation is such a minefield. More importantly, for those of us in customer experience work, we have a sense of justice and fairness that is deeply rooted in our genes. No-one is going to fool you by passing off some bit of cucumber when there are grapes to be had.