This is a story about your relationship with your customers, although it may not seem like it at first. Walk with me for a bit ...
I went back to my hometown this summer, a place I hadn't been in many years. My high school, when I went back to look at it, seemed surprisingly benign, although they've made the windows smaller, so I may be mistaken about that.
How I got kicked out of Latin class
Wandering around town spotting the landmarks of my youth, I could not for the life of me remember why I had to take Grade 12 math in summer school one year, riding my bike across town every day with the morning traffic. This morning, at about 5:40 a.m., the pieces fell into place for me, and I woke up remembering. I had been kicked out of Latin class, and was thereby was missing a credit needed to get into university. (This is what our brains are up to when we aren't paying attention.)
Here's what happened. Bored and restless in Latin class, I started writing a letter to my best friend. Miss H grabbed the letter and started to read it in class. Horrified at this prospect, I grabbed it back. The net result is that I got kicked out, but not before being yelled at -- literally -- by several people. It was a horrible experience, and I'm glad I forgot about it for a few decades.
This morning, I thought about Miss H, the young and pretty Latin teacher. She probably didn't have a lot of tools in her student management kit. But she went straight to the big guns of humiliation when she felt threatened. She didn't even try to just say: "Put the letter away and pay attention". She did not understand herself to be in a position of significant power relative to her students. But she wanted victory, and she wanted it definitive. And when things escalated, so did everyone else.
You have power over your customers
Think about how similar the power dynamics of the classroom are to the situation of a customer with a problem. Perhaps they couldn't get the car loan because their credit was bad, and you had to tell them. Perhaps they overspent on downloads with their phone, and didn't understand it would cost a fortune. Maybe they can't get your backup software working, and just fried their data.
Whatever it is, the more difficult the situation becomes, the more the big organization has a tendency to get up on its hind legs and start hitting. Saying things like "you can't speak to our agents this way", and "don't use that tone of voice", or the familiar "no one else has had this problem". Eventually, you might even say, "so if you don't like it, sue us".
But when you think about it, the customer is just one little person, and you, on the other hand, are a gazillion dollar enterprise. You hold almost all the cards.
How customers get justice
Customers don't hold very many cards at all. They can leave -- but that's not too satisfying if you already fired them in some sense. They can complain, but that takes time, and they may not believe there is much chance of effecting an improvement in their situation. In fact, they may be so distressed at this point that they can't cope with your organization any more. Their last option is to say bad things about you.
And that is how customers even the score. They tell everyone over a long period of time how negatively they view your organization.
What to do when things go off the rails and badly
- Remember that it's not personal for you, it's personal for the customer. They don't even know you. You are not the target.
- Remember how much power you wield on behalf of the organization, even if you feel powerless, and don't even think about using it. After all, from their perspective, things are already going horribly wrong. Don't add fuel to the fire.
- Be gentle. Be gracious. Take a breath. Tell everyone to take a breath. Get everyone a glass of water and a chair.
- Recognize that few of us respond well to tremendous stress and frustration. Not them, and not you. Make allowances for them, even if they won't make them for you. (Because it's not about you, it's about the organization)
- Never forget that the most loyal customers in the world are people who had a problem and had it solved. This is your opportunity to make that happen.
- And of course, if there's anything I learned from Latin class it's this: semper ubi sub ubi*
*always wear under wear
